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Letting go

Letting go can be tricky if we are holding on to the past but as things are always changing, it’s kind of necessary. To let go, is simply a choice not to put your energy into the thing you are aiming to let go, remembering that energy includes money, time, thoughts etc. Instead, putting your energy into where you want to go, into the things that you desire. Here are the top ingredients to support you in letting go:

1.Mindfulness

Being mindful is about bringing an awareness to your energy and where you are putting your precious energy. It takes an awareness of your internal world as well as what you’re putting out. Becoming aware of this allows you to notice when your energy is going towards the thing you are aiming to let go and allows you to stop and redirect your energy. For more information, read my post here on the basics of mindfulness.

2.Trust

It seems so contrary to say that a key to letting go is trust especially when often letting go of a person or relationship can be from a break in trust, a betrayal or some other hurt. But what I mean here is a TRUST IN YOURSELF and something larger than yourself, that it’ll all work out and that you will attract what you desire when you are ready for it. Trust too that you have learnt the lessons that you need to attract what you desire. We often feel afraid that we won’t find someone else who will love us, so we can’t let go of the person that once gave that to us. Or we may be afraid that we will make the same mistake again in the future if we don’t understand what’s happened in the past, so we end up over-analysing, trying to seek meaning or understanding. Trust that you will attract what you desire. Believe that you will and you will. I have written about how trust develops here and about rebuilding trust here.

3. Gratitude

Being grateful helps you to appreciate what the experience, person or thing has taught you, changed you and how it has helped you or others around you. There is always a silver lining. What is it in this situation? Be thankful for that. Gratitude allows you to attract more of the good things from the situation in the future. More information about gratitude here.

4. Forgiveness

Yourself. And the other. In the Energy Clearing work that I do with people, I always include forgiveness. Forgiveness, in my view, is about taking responsibility for the part that you played in the situation, how it has affected you, understanding that you were just doing the best that you knew how, based on your conditioning, your age, your personality, who you are. Forgiveness of others is the same. It is essential in being able to let go.

5. Feel

Letting go requires a loss in one form or another. It’s okay to grieve that loss. To remember what you had and to feel the loss of losing that. Allow yourself to enter into that and understand all the many aspects of the loss but don’t stay there! Then, be grateful and move on. If you notice sensations returning again, allow them and move on. Here is a quick meditation that can help you to accept any feelings and sensations that you have:

 

6. Accept the process

Sometimes letting go is a process. That’s okay too. You may feel that you are able to let go of part of something, but not all of it. That’s ok. Keep focussing on what you want to attract and being your true self and those things will have less appeal.

7. Action

Make the choice to let go and move forward towards the things you want. Read more about attraction here.

 

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You are an odd sock

I began writing “Odd Socks Ella” when I was pregnant with my son, Bodhi (who is now 18 months old) when I was contemplating school for Ella the following year. I had all kinds of concerns about sending her to school, an institution, knowing that school is not always the best thing for children. My writing started to express that what I want for my daughter was for her to be independent and free, to create what she chooses and to be free to choose how to express herself, whether in art, physical movement, technology or in the way she dresses. After writing my first draft of the story (of many!! Haha. And I’m still drafting!!), I decided to learn how to paint so I could paint the illustrations. This has been an amazing adventure and a re-birthing of my love of style (more on that another time).

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Now about the real Ella. As mentioned, this year, we faced a pretty huge decision. What would we do about Ella’s education? Would we send her to school or would we educate her at home? We looked into many different types of schools, public, private, Steiner, independent and home schooling and settled on the school that we were zoned for knowing that we could change our mind in the future. Ella has mostly enjoyed it but she does feel quite overwhelmed at times. This one particular day, it reached a peak and bribery of all forms was failing with Ella screaming and stomping and down right refusing to go to school. Trying to think quickly and keep my composure, I did what all good, counselling-and-welfare-trained-parents do (haha). I asked her what she was feeling. Her response actually surprised me a little. She said she was feeling scared. She listed a bunch of things she was afraid of, but it all came down to, what happens if something happens to me and you’re not there to make it better? My mind was in a paradox of feeling complete guilt that I hadn’t supported her to build some resilience, to feeling completely sad that I couldn’t be there for her because I felt like I had to go to work, to realising that we all have the exact same fears even as adults “what if something happens and I won’t be able to handle it on my own?”

I told her that when she is feeling scared, she could try wearing something black. I explained that black is the colour of protection and that’s why Batman’s suit is black. That Batman was actually afraid of bats and his costume reminds him that he is brave. I told her that she could wear whatever she could find so long as she also wore her school dress. She came back with a pair of my socks. I actually don’t ever remember wearing these and I probably never will but on her, they were perfect.

 

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I told her that when she’s feeling scared, to remember that she has Mum’s black socks and that that means I am there for her in spirit and she is brave. She did one better than me by saying that when she’s feeling scared, the socks will remind her to talk to her teacher. I’m really glad that Ella has such an understanding and compassionate teacher. It was hard enough (and is still hard if I’m honest) to send her to school but it helps so much more that her teacher has similar values to what I do and does such an incredible job at looking after and educating her.

She then told me that she doesn’t want to be scared or sad anymore. That she wants to be happy. I told her that she might like to find something yellow as yellow is the colour of sunshine, sunflowers and happiness and that wearing something yellow could remind her to be happy (I thought later about what the two colours together mean.. Think bees, wasps, python snakes, haha). She returned with her yellow shoes.

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We walked into school with our heads held high on this day. I didn’t care that we were breaking the school rules by not wearing the uniform exactly right, I didn’t care that we were late and I was going to be late for work because really, just getting her to school some days, feels like an enormous accomplishment!! And more than that, Ella was now skipping to class, she had found her happiness and I realised that she is so so resilient already. She does have the answers within. She is brave. She is strong. Annnnnd she has incredible style. Don’t ya think? 😉

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My artwork

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Ella’s artwork

Click here to download your own copy for you or your children to colour in too. We would love to see them!

And if you like, you can share them onto the Facebook page Odd Socks!!

Edit: I later did some Energy Clearing about my parenting and Ella’s birth energy. You can read about that here.